Anniversary Post

Yesterday was my parents' 20,000th wedding anniversary.  Seriously, they were married forty-three years ago.  Luckily for me and my inheritance, that was before I was born, which I have always found vaguely surprising, considering their subsequent inability to avoid conception.

Therefore it might be a nice time to consider how they've done it.  MY MOTHER, despite her strong personality and decided opinions, is actually very easy to live with.  She has good hygiene.  She practices what she preaches.  She has good posture.  She is rarely twitchy and never picks at her skin or scratches herself (probably because of the good hygiene -- there's a little life-lesson for you, kids!)

Seriously, though, as I sit here on vacation, waiting for my husband, the self-dubbed Total Package, to finish his work so I can go to the beach and get a sunburn, I think the thing I like most about MY MOTHER is that she is UP FOR ANYTHING.  Want to go on a bike ride?  Sure.  Want to have a drink or four?  Sure.  Want to host a few weddings?  No problem.  Want to make fifty fruit and coffee cakes for everyone you know every Christmas?  Time to put a smile on, roll your sleeves up and start chopping walnuts!

Now, you'd think most people would be that way, because it's definitely the way to have the most fun and get the most done.  If you don't go up to bat, you never hit a home run, dipstick.  However, most people are tired, or lazy, or pretty lame, actually, so they don't have evening cookouts on the beach or roller blade in the rain like MY MOTHER.  They don't ski like maniacs or paint their daughters' kitchens.  They don't call every like-minded voter to protect the Town's open space or schools.  And they don't laugh at themselves and everything else that strikes them as funny as they move through their day.

Bruce Springsteen once said, by way of my little brother, J Monster, MY MOTHER "has the heart of a ballerina."  I used to think that was a little prissy and delicate for my earthy, gardening, sexy mum.  However, then I remembered a ballerina's feet.  Nasty!  Those bitches go for it!  It hurts, but they twirl on, and they love it!  So I think Bruce and J Monster were right, and MY MOTHER and her heart are pretty cool to be married to, and to have in your life at all, actually.  I recommend doing something awesome with her, if you get the chance.

Mr. Lasagna, a.k.a., Daddy to a large group of lucky people, also has good hygiene, though he can be pretty gross on occasion (this site is too classy for any of those stories  -- quick two words -- bucket and boat).  He can whistle between his teeth, which he does when he is happy, and he pretends to know a great deal about wildlife.  This impresses those of his grandchildren that can't read.  Finally, he is fun to play cards with, as long as you remember that you wouldn't actually "get shot in Vegas" for dropping a card, something that has prevented me from braving that metropolis to this day.

Seriously, I think Mr. Lasagna is perfect for MY MOTHER because he thinks BIG.  If you are hanging with someone who is UP FOR ANYTHING  you better have some crazy cliff diving-type river rapids for her to dive into.  I also truly believe that if you have an over-inflated concept of what you can do, you often accomplish stuff that wasn't actually possible.  You can WILL things into being.  Hence the six kids (most of whom are pretty cool), the house expanded, the garage built, the tennis court built, the four houses built/renovated for his kids, the local laws passed, 1,000 + acres of land preserved, etc., etc. 

And he's funny (though not as funny as he thinks he is).  Which has kept them laughing and probably kept him alive.

Well, enough of this love-fest.  What have we learned today?  One, be UP FOR ANYTHING.  Two, you CAN do it (even if you actually can't).  And, three, try and get a good laugh in, no matter what you are into at the moment. 

I'm off to find TP.