So much to tell you all!

As you all know, I was in Nantucket last weekend. Lots and lots to tell you all about that!

To summarize, TP and I were together constantly, and biked a total of about 40 miles, so we got some excellent exercise. We ate large bagel-ious and other starch heavy breakfasts (don't tell MY MOTHER), skipped lunch, and then had fantastic, huge dinners at hip, expensive restaurants. TP ate more than I did at these extravaganzas, though I certainly put in a yeoman's effort.

As of today, TP is three pounds lighter than he was before the vacation, while I gained three pounds. WHERE IS THE JUSTICE, I ASK YOU? I wouldn't mind if he just wasn't so damned happy about it. (Though I guess I do get a payoff, too, which I will probably try and collect on tonight, so I'm not complaining.)

To combat this distressing trend, I just brewed a pot of mint tea, and I will continue to try and flush the poisons out of my plump little body.

Other things you should know about my vacation:

I tooled around in a happy orange hat for much of our four days there. Bet you can't say the same! I know most of you are too cool for a little orange fisherman's hat. Too bad for you, folks! I can't wear sunglasses because I am hopelessly cross-eyed (Emphasize the HOPELESS -- I recently had this diagnosis confirmed at Children's Hospital, to the tune of $1,500.00. You would think for $1,500.00 they would have thrown in a pair of B cups, but all I got was dilated pupils and some sad head-shaking.) [Footnote: My Ancestry.com research (I have a lot of hot hobbies) has determined that my cross-eyes are of Irish origin. My great-grandfather, Dr. Lawrence Henry Goodwin Collier, a.k.a. "Dr. Can't keep it in his pants" named his illegitimate son Lawrence Goodwin. Turns out Dr. Collier's mother's maiden name was Goodwin. I was contacted by a Goodwin cousin, and they are all cross-eyed. I don't know if there are a lot of cross-eyed, Irish broads out there, but there you go, you know at least one! They also have heart problems and are mostly left-handed. Haven't determined if any of them also enjoy knitting and romance novels, but I have not completed my research.]

My HOPELESS crossed-eyes mean I only look out of one eye at a time, so I can't wear glasses or sunglasses, so I needed the cute, goofy hat to protect my eyes from the sun. It may not have been a perfect solution, but I bet I made a lot of friends/admirers, so I'm not complaining.

Another nugget I need to share with you:
Certain foods are very hot on Nantucket right now. Grits, for instance, showed up on multiple menus (I discovered I loved grits, not surprisingly, though I had not had them before. Or if I had had, they were called, "polenta"). Also, lots of confits, though it seemed to mean something different every time. As far as I can tell, they mostly used it to mean, "cooked, mashed up bits of meat." Churros and foi gras also seemed ever-present, which was a good thing, and probably responsible for some of those pounds I gained. Finally, lots of local veggies, including a kale caesar salad, which I enjoyed. A kale caesar salad is such a health food corruption, kind of like a wheat-grass cocktail, or seeing the pope give someone a [insert favorite sex act that you think the pope might be good at]. [Footnote: I would go with strip-tease.]

Last Nantucket Nugget for this evening:
Cucumber water. WOW! I'm going to buy one of those upside-down pitcher things, with the spouts? Know what I'm talking about? Then I'm going to have a lady party, and we are all going to drink refreshing cucumber water (which, by the way, is not fattening) and play canasta or maj jong or dominoes, (because I am open to games of all races) under an umbrella in my backyard. Seriously, I want to have a party just for the water. I don't even like cucumbers, AT ALL, in ANY circumstance, and I thought this water was delicious.

So, it's like I always say, you travel the world and you get a silly hat and fall in love with grits and cucumber water. Can you imagine what would happen if I went to a different state?