This past weekend I was at my Favorite Brother's* Surprise 40th Birthday Party. The term "Favorite" might be a little misleading here. My Favorite Brother is not my favorite because I like him the most of my brothers (The Baker's the nicest to me. Hands down.). He's my favorite because when you're really up a creek without a paddle, he manages to fashion a paddle out of the cover to a cooler and a passing branch. He's a problem solver. My Favorite Brother has great ideas and they work. He just won an Apple television at work for having the best solution in a team building competition. When I need to have my roof replaced, or evict 300 bats from my attic, or build a bug-proof garage that looks like a barn, or handle the other crazy problems we seem to get around here all the time, I like to consult with him.
[FN: My Favorite Brother and I also dance together like a dream. Had MY MOTHER had a little more foresight, we would have won a number of ballroom dance competitions in our teens and twenties, and then went on to establish our own elite Argentinian Tango/Samba dance studio. We would probably be choreographing numbers for So You Think You Can Dance as we speak. Unfortunately, that alternate destiny, like so many others, resides in the dustbin of time.]
The term "Surprise" is also a misnomer. My sister-in-law, Ms. S, had the party at her home, and my F.B. works from home. She had about 1,000 limes in the fridge, not to mention stacks of cheeses. Of course he knew she was having a party! My F.B. also said that the house was just too clean, so he knew something was up. Ms. S keeps her house very clean, so I think the cheeses were a better tip-off, but whatever. [Whenever I vacuum or move furniture around, my husband, Total Package, accuses me of planning to have a party without telling him about it. He's right about 50% of the time.]
By the by, Ms. S threw a great party. The mojitos were FANTASTIC! Mojitos are really easy to screw up. Lots of people put too much mint in them, and then you spend the whole night with mossy teeth. Take a page from Ms. S and go easy on the mint!
The company and food were also excellent. We had a writer, layered bean dip, a professor of french, pudding cake, a dancer, mushroom tart, an interior designer, bruschetta, engineers, goat cheese dip, a doctor, chocolate dipped fruit, a mechanic, lawyers, and a guy in a toupee. Really, what more can you ask for?
Finally, we had The Big Dog. Ms. L set The Big Dog (a.k.a., my little cousin) up with our former babysitter, who is a dancer and built like a brick house. The Brick House is also a great person who is much loved by all of our children. My son, Mr. B asked me this past weekend, "Why is this girl at our house?" And I said, "This is your babysitter, Cassie. She's taking care of you tonight." He said, "Where's the Brick House?" Which is especially funny, because (1) The Brick House hasn't babysat for him for years; and (2) I hadn't even given her that nickname yet, little pervert must of thought of it himself. [FN: Just kidding, he referred to her by name. He does want to marry her, however, after he marries me and T.P. is forced to marry the kids' bus driver. I hope we live here, because I am NOT going to move after all this time.]
The Big Dog (not to be confused with my uncle, The Original Big Dog) has been dating The Brick House for a few months now, but we didn't realize that they were in Sturbridge for the party, so it was an excellent bonus. They also seem to be getting along well, which is awesome because I think they are both so great. Especially after the other night, when we discussed what we were wearing to the wedding, whether undergarments would work with our dresses, and how their relationship is very similar to mine and T.P.'s. Obviously, we'd been drinking, but I will always maintain that there's not much better than a hard-working Italian man who likes to stay in shape, so we weren't too far off track.
To wrap up, Happy Birthday to My F.B.! I will continue to tell people that we are twins and that your wife is older than me just to mess with them!
Big Dog, nice to see you in the 'Bridge! You can party with us any time!
Brick House, there's no way your dress for the wedding is as awesome as mine, so you better keep rockin' that body! See you at the batchelorette party!
*Note to all my brothers -- I love you all the same, really, regardless of race, creed, or color.
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