Is it wrong to stop feeding your children?

Don't worry, I'm mostly kidding. One of my kids was sick, so she ate even less than she usually does (She eschews bread. Who brings plain tuna to school when they're 8? Or a hard boiled egg? Not a diet designed to draw in the little boys, but I'll work on that with her later). She certainly doesn't get that behavior from ME. Another child ate toast with avocado mashed onto it, potatoes cooked in olive oil, scrambled eggs, french fries, 50 apples and 30 clementines (I am only inflating those numbers a little bit). The third one ate everything she could wrest from her father, her mother, and a sample of what her siblings ate, and some pizza. She does take after me. :)

What did I eat? Two eggs, a glass of milk, a sprouted bagel and an apple. Why, you ask? Well I am working on a new hypothesis. Yesterday I just ate one panini and a glass of wine all day (There was sourdough bread, some kind of sauce, chicken and a slice of bacon. Just so you know, I would punch you, whomever you are, for another one of those right now. And my grandmother reads this blog. I wouldn't punch her in the face or anything, but I'd probably give her a firm pinch for one of those sandwiches. I am not a nice lady.) In the interest of full disclosure, I also had about four bites of potatoes. Shockingly, I lost half a pound.

I assume that there were two elements that led to my success, 1) Early consumption of calories (nothing after 5:30p.m.); and, 2)Portion control. I have a real problem with PORTION CONTROL. I figure, if there is more, why not eat it? This, unfortunately leads to tube sock arms.

So today, I stepped it up. No fancy sauce, no bacon. Healthier (and less) bread. No potatoes or any other food for dinner. I also walked for 2.5 miles in my basement. I finally got to watch an old "Closer." It was great. I'm going to practice that accent all day tomorrow with my kids. I almost used it tonight at the Board of Health Meeting I was at, but thought it would be better to save until I'm actually in court. ("Why Fritzie, you didn't have to do that for me!?!")

I am hungry, but it's midnight, and I'm always hungry at midnight. I'm going to go wake MY HUSBAND up (without eating any leftover pizza) and try and get some satisfaction that way.
Did you hear that? Uh, oh, the pizza is calling me.

"Big K, we're some lovely pizza. Don't you want some? We're already all cut up."

"No, you are salty and cold and nasty. Be quiet."

"You don't really think we're nasty. We have mushrooms. . ."

"No I shall not eat you as I put you away, foul tempter! I will have cut little pipe-cleaner arms like my teensie aunts, not pale tube socks. Piss off!"

I just hope the pizza doesn't get rough and try and grab me. Stranger things have happened around here.