Mdme. K's Big Fat Birthday

If birthdays were measured by calories, I had a fantabulous birthday, or birthday week.

Mdme. S ("S" for "saboteur") threw me a lovely surprise party, complete with two cakes, spinach phyllo dough triangles (I'd like me some of them right now.), Auntie Marie's mushroom torte, chips and dip, prosciutto with melon, potato skins and baked brie. [FN Which MY MOTHER made for me, but then commented on every time I took a little nibble. Well, maybe they weren't "nibbles," but it's much neater to shove a whole cracker in your mouth with cheese than to bite it and get crumbs all over yourself. I call that move the "Ed Goodwin." It always impresses. She also accused me of double-dipping, which I do NOT do, sometimes I just split my cracker in half to get a better cheese to cracker ratio. If you're going to do something, do it right.] The house looked beautiful -- flowers and candles all over the place, and believe it or not, Mdme. S had scrubbed her floor, probably fearing that I would not deign to attend a surprise party in my honor unless a certain level of excellence was met. She knows me well.

In sum, there was singing, there was dancing, the crowd was buzzed and a good time was had by all. Well, I had a great time, I can't vouch for everyone, but I don't know how they could have avoided it.

Then on Monday MY HUSBAND made me a chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting, which was delightful. I gave half of it away IMMEDIATELY to Mdme. S and her hollow-legged boys. I thought that I was then clear of any birthday-induced calories, but today, on my actual birthday, Mdme. L took me out to lunch. We each had a glass of wine and a panini. Bacon may have reared its ugly (but delicious) head, but we got greens instead of the french fries. The sandwiches were magical and full of calories (is there anything better than sourdough bread?). Unfortunately, it was probably the last sandwich I will devour for some time.

A friend of mine recently had some stomach problems, and survived on cod liver oil and raw milk for about three weeks. Unfortunately, that's how you lose 10 pounds in three weeks. Mdme. L and I agreed that we are going to succeed we have to stick to fruit, veggies, lean chicken and eggs for the next 24 days. I know this is common sense, but it's not going to be pretty. I warn you that it might be more sad than funny -- it's tough to go from an all cake diet to a non-fat diet. This is the corner I have painted myself into, however, so I have to step up and deal. (I have painted myself into a corner before this, with actual paint. Let's hope I don't leave as many ugly footprints this time.)